Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Starting the journey

Hi, 

I am DC and I worry excessively about my health. This is my first day at Hypochondriacs Anonymous.

(imaginary audience mumbles "hi DC")

I have been zero days clean - or to be specific, zero days without googling my symptoms and contacting the doctor. I have been an excessive worrier for about 30 years now, on and off. This is my latest attempt to recover: to get back control of my life, and to silence the screaming voice of  anxiety. 

(imaginary audience nods knowingly, smell of coffee starts to waft around the room. I would like to get tea, but anxiety tells me caffeine is BAD.)

Today I went to the doctor, because I had the same symptoms as always. Only I thought they were a bit different now, so I freaked out. They did a heart film (EKG), listened to my heart and lungs, and measured oxygen saturation and blood pressure. Apparently I was tense and anxious but fine. Nothing wrong.

2 minutes after leaving the clinic the first doubts surfaced. Why no bloodwork? What if she was just too busy to interpret my results well? What if I forgot to mention a key symptom?

So that's where we're today. Oh, I also increased the dosage of my antidepressants because I can't focus worth a damn anymore. I just keep worrying. So yeah... nice to be here. Thanks for listening.

(Audience claps politely and promptly forgets what I said, as they're all busy worrying about their health.)


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